It's been a while.

I knew this would happen.  I start a blog, let it slip and then feel rubbish.  But, I'm determined to keep it going this time.

I suppose the reason I don't want to let it slip is I like writing it.  The problem is - I just don't think my life is interesting enough to sustain a daily post.

Anyway- let me do a quick catch up.

I heard from David Stenhouse, the radio producer.  Alas, he doesn't think there is enough time to make a radio programme about the closure of the Caterpillar before the end of the year.  And The Scotsman are dragging their heels too much, so that's a no as well.  Oh well.  I tried.

I've still been writing.  I've entered a couple of competitions.

Typically. I left them to the last minute and had to write like a demon to make the deadlines.  But I made it.  Proof that I definitely need a deadline to make me get my arse into gear.

Let me say - I don't think I have a hope in hell in getting anywhere with these competitions but I know I definitely won't if I don't enter.  So, I've just gone for it.  You never know.

One of them was a Creative Non-fiction competition.  For my last assessment at uni I had to write a proposal for my Lipton book - so I felt I was almost there.  I just had to refine and polish what I'd already written and fire it in.  But, there was a bit more than that involved.  I hate when I re read something I've done for an assessment.  It always seems total rubbish.  However, I gritted my teeth and made myself read and amend it, but it took ages.

Part of the application form asked for my writing history.  Mmmm!  It's times like this I realise I might have written a lot of stuff - but I've done nothing with it.  Some friends on the MA course have been entering competitions for years and have built up an nice wee list of short listings and published stuff.  But me?  Not very much I'm afraid.  I need to start getting pro-active.

The prize for this competition is being mentored by Hi-Arts and Jenny Brown Associates with a view to having a non-fiction book published.  Sounds great eh?

The other competition is one being run between Oran Mor and Channel 4.  They are looking for a one act comedy play.

Now, this is a prize I would absolutely love to win.  The prize?  £5,000 and a weeks run in A Play, A Pie and a Pint in Oran Mor during the Glasgow International Comedy Festival.  I don't know about you but this impresses me.

I've been going to see plays in Oran Mor at lunchtime for years and feel that someone from either Channel 4 or PPP even reading my work is prize enough.

I decided to enter a play I started in 2008.  The idea was there and a lot of it was written but I didn't know how it should end.  This competition really focussed my mind and I did it - in less than a week.  The deadline is today and I was still writing it last night.

The first version I wrote was only running to over half an hour.  I needed to increase it to nearly 50 minutes.  By ten o'clock last night I was word blind.  I needed to stop.  So I did - with the intention of timing it today and sending it in.

But I woke up at 5am this morning in a bit of a sweat.  I was convinced I was going to miss the deadline.  Once the thought was in my head I wouldn't have been able to go back to sleep so I got up and worked on it.  I finally submitted it at 6.04am.

I don't think I'm going to win by any stretch of the imagination (the competition is open to all playwrights so there will be a huge amount of talent entering) but having done so much work on it I really didn't want to miss the deadline.  I got an email earlier.  It was in on time and has been accepted.  Phew.

I was going to go back to bed after I had submitted it but I felt okay.  So, as a result of getting up early I've done some ironing, hoovered, sorted out all my clothes and I've bagged a lot of stuff I don't wear any more ( for don't wear any more read can't get into any more) and washed the dishes.  Not a bad morning's work.  I really should get up early more often.

And talking about stuff I can't get into any more - we bought a nice, new exercise bike.  And the surprising thing is - we are all using it.  And the even more surprising thing is I'm quite enjoying using it.

Today is the start of a new month and usually, for me, the start of a new healthy eating and exercise regime.  I think I'm going to have to really mean it this time.  I need to lose at least three stones.  (I think I might have said this when I had two stones to lose - and one stone before that)  It's not funny any more.  And it's not a vanity thing - I think it's more a health thing now.

So if any of you see me eating or drinking anything which is not classed as health food you have my permission to nick whatever it is off me.  Don't worry - I won't be able to chase you.

There.  I feel better for having written this post.  Long may it continue.

Sad coinidences

It's really rubbish when you hear bad news.

We've known Rab and John for a long time: Dougal has known them since primary school and I've known them for over thirty years.  We don't see them very often now - because of various work and family reasons - but when we do meet up or speak it's like we'd seen each other yesterday.  There is never any strangeness or any awkwardness between us - we just have a good blether and catch up - and usually a few drinks.

The last time we met up with John was almost a year ago and it's been a lot longer since seeing Rab.  So, how's this for a coincidence?  On Friday night I was told that John's mum had died on Wednesday (5th Sept.) About an hour and a half later Rab phoned to say his mum had died earlier that day (7th Sept.)

So, this week begins and ends in sadness.  John's mum's funeral was this morning and Rab's is on Friday.  The one positive thing is we all met up this morning and despite the sadness we still managed to have a quiet giggle about silly things from the past.  We'll all see each other on Friday again - I just wish it was under happier circumstances.

But, it's given us a timely collective kick up the arse and reminded us we should see each other more often.

It's been a while since my last blog - but I've not just been sitting staring at the wall.  Well, I have at times but I've also been doing other things.  I've written and submitted my article for the Glasgow West End Magazine.  I know it's only September but it was all about panto.  My editor thought it might be good to interview my daughter because she's a theatre and set designer - and she's designing the Cottier Theatre's panto this year.  I also interviewed the guys who are writing, directing and starring in this year's offering 'Weans in the Wood.'  I thought it might be quite strange interviewing Kirsten but it was really nice.  It gave us a chance to think back to when she was three and her first visit to a theatre.  It was also lovely to spend some time chatting to Ian Bustard and Mark Cox about their panto.  It sounds like a cracker (please forgive that terrible pun) so if you're up for cheering the goodies and booing the baddies this year get yourself along to Cottier's Theatre.  Oh - and you can read the full article in the October/November's issue of the fabulous, free magazine Glasgow West End Magazine - available in most pubs, cafe's and coffee shops all over the west end. (Please forgive that terrible plug)

The other piece of writing I've done in the last week is a radio pitch which I emailed to Radio 4 and Radio Scotland producer David Stenhouse.  I won't say what it's about as yet but I will say there's probably very little chance of it being made - I haven't had a reply yet. The fact I haven't heard from Mr Stenhouse doesn't mean he doesn't like my idea.  It's possible he hasn't got it yet.  I'm hoping he's on holiday or off sick.  I don't mean I hope he's sick.  I hope he's very healthy.  Oh shit - I think I'll stop digging now.  

I'll tell all about my idea if I hear from him.

And that's not all I've been writing.  Last week saw the start of a new season of a Play, A Pie and a Pint.  Each week they have a competition where the best review of a play in under 100 words wins a bottle of malt whisky.  I went to see 'Dead Famous' by Keith Temple with Catherine from uni.  I emailed my entry which just appeared on the PPP website today.  I gave it a nice wee review because I liked the play and found it quite funny.  However, there are another couple of reviews completely slating it.  It made me consider my judgement.  I probably won't win the whisky because the PPP team will no doubt think I'm a sycophantic twat.  But, then again - you never know.

A while ago I was told there might be a chance I could get an article printed in The Scotsman about the closure of the Caterpillar factory.  Sam told me at my last tutorial I should follow this up so I'm off to send an email to the man who might be able to make it happen.

I've just remembered I said I was going to keep you up to date on my attempts to lose weight.  Well - I'm saying nothing, except I'm going to start again tomorrow - again.

Over.

Last Friday I attended my last ever tutorial at uni.  It was to discuss my Personal Development Plan - or what I intend to do now.

It's a bit sad to think I'll never need to haul myself out of bed extremely early every Friday morning to drive to Edinburgh and not get home until about half six at night - knackered and starving.

Aye right.  After the exertions of the last couple of months I feel like I've got my life back.  I've got a long list of all the stuff I want to do.  I'm even looking forward to doing some housework - and that's saying something.

It was a nice meeting with Sam and David, although Sam started off by saying she was going to talk at me and not with me.  Fair enough.  So I just sat, for the most part, and listened.  What she said made a lot of sense.  I need to get pro-active and get out there and generate writing work for myself.  No one is going to come to my door begging me to write for them.  Oh - and she said I should stop writing fiction.  Again. fair enough.  In her opinion I should concentrate on non-fiction, historical stuff and journalism.

I can totally live with that but I've still got a great idea rattling around my head for a novel - which won't go away until I have it down on paper.  Well - I think it's a great idea.  One of these days I will write it.


I've been powering down for the last couple of weeks.  The contents of the wine cellar have been guzzled - the hangover's have been endured and it's been boarded back up again.  It's now time to get off my arse and get back to a life which includes writing but isn't dominated by it.

I started off gently by getting the knitting needles out.  Knitting is very relaxing.  I do it when I'm watching the telly at night or if I need to think about something.  Everyone thinks knittings for old people but knitting is the new clubbing.  Well, maybe not.

I'm thinking of starting a scarf knitting business called Scarf Ace (get it?)  I've now knitted another one to add to my collection.  So, if anyone wants a lovely, cosy scarf for the winter just let me know.  I'll also knit for kids if anyone wants me to.  I should really try and get a stall somewhere.

I'm also going to start going back to my art class - and I can't wait.  I've always loved painting but other things always get in the way.  By going to a class I feel I can devote a couple of hours to it - and it's a chance to meet new people.  At the end of the Major Project I was beginning to feel quite isolated.  It's now time out of the house for a while.


But I have a couple of things writerly things I need to do immediately.

One is the article I'm writing for Glasgow West End Magazine.  It's for the October/November issue but my deadline is Friday.  I'm hoping I can squeeze another couple of days form my editor.  This is the issue which looks at the different panto's on in Glasgow (oh yes it is.)  I know - it's panto time again already.

This time I'm doing a quick round up but I'm also looking at putting on a panto from behind the scenes - so I'm going to be interviewing my daughter Kirsten.  She's designing the Cottier's panto set and costumes this year.  This is going to be a very weird experience.  I'm also going to have a word with the writer and director and maybe some of the performers to get a full picture of what it takes to put the finished product on the stage.  I'm really looking forward to it.

The other thing I need to do is email BBC radio producer, David Stenhouse.  He came to speak to us in Napier in January.  He told us how to pitch an idea for a radio programme and gave us a few months to write a pitch for our Major Project.  I was extremely nervous about doing it because I'm not good at speaking in public.  But, I must have done all right because he liked the idea and said he would commission it.  I need to remind him.  I've also got another idea which I think I might share with him.  And like Sam says - he's not going to come to me.

What was that?

Is it someone knocking the door with a fantastic writing opportunity?

Yes?

No.  it isn't.

Damn it.  I suppose I'd better go and get pro-active.

Result

(For some reason this post doesn't appear to have been published.  I wrote it on 23rd August but I don't know what happened so I'm publishing it now.  Sorry if it has been published and you've read it before.  Technology eh?  Or maybe it's just me and technology.)



I dreamed last night I got the result of my Major Project through the post in an envelope which had been ripped open.  The piece of paper inside showed two results; a P2 and a D2.  It was a really weird one because I wasn't expecting the results to be out until next Thursday.

So you can imagine my shock when I saw on Facebook one of the girls on the course saying she'd passed.

It was with a thudding heart and a shaking hand I checked the uni results page.  I got a P4 (69%) and I'm delighted.  I honestly wasn't sure that I'd even passed.  I know people say that kind of thing all the time but I mean it - because I wasn't sure that what I'd written was Creative Non-fiction to an MA standard and not just 19,110 words of facts.

A while ago I said I knew angels existed.  I was going through a particularly tough time trying to get things right so I contacted Christina Stephen who did a CNF MP last year for some advice.  She took time to read what I'd done and gave me some great pointers.  After speaking to her via emails etc. I calmed down a bit and things started to come together.  So, if you're reading this Christina - thanks very much.

Also - thanks to everyone who's had to listen to me moaning for the last few months (especially Dougal, Kirsten and Ross.)

Right - enough of all this soppy stuff.  I can't believe it's quarter past six and I haven't torn the planks across the wine cellar down yet.  Where's the claw hammer?

And the cork screw?

Decision

It's been a couple of days since I handed in the last elements of my Major Project and I suspect there is a very strong connection between that and the disappearance of a fair amount of wine from Hogg Towers' wine cellar.  But the hangover has cleared and I now feel able to face a keyboard once more.

It was such a relief to drop the finished article into the uni's drop box and to know that I don't need to write another essay ever again.  But, what to do now?

I started this blog to chart my progress through the process of writing the first 20,000 words of a book.  I've done it now so I suppose I can wind it up.

I've always thought a blog without a purpose is just a diary and why anyone would want to read what I get up to I can't imagine.  But I've quite enjoyed writing it - so I think I'll keep it going for a while.  I'll write about what I've done with my project, as far as continuing to write it, and will report on what I've done about trying to get it published.

In my Personal Development Plan I've written that a few of my short term goals are to enter some creative writing competitions and to carry on with the magazine work and theatre reviewing.  That might be interesting to write about - and maybe read.  Oh - and I'm going to keep writing the novel.

In amongst all this writing malarky I might write about what I'm going to do to lose the huge amount weight I've gained while putting down roots at my desk.  The most energetic thing I've done in the last three months is to struggle to the kitchen to make endless cups of coffee and devour anything which might be lying around - and let me tell you - it hasn't been fruit.

If I know some people are reading about it I might actually stick to a healthy eating plan and start exercising. I mean, I can lie to myself but I wouldn't dream of lying to anyone taking time out of their day to read my drivel.  So the more you read the more weight I'll lose.  My weight is in your hands.  Oh God - what a thought.

But first - I'm off to buy a few planks of wood, a sturdy hammer and a bucket of nails.

The Hogg Towers' wine cellar is getting boarded up.

Struggling

It's a hard slog.

This essay is giving me grief.  Next to the Major Project a 3,000 word reflective essay should be a doddle.  I mean, I've already written the project so surely all I need to do is say what I did first and then say what I did to make it better.  Sounds easy but my head is all over the place.  The problem is I'm rapidly losing enthusiasm and concentration.  I just want it done so every word is becoming a struggle.

Also, it's forcing me to re-read what I've submitted and every time I read it I get more and more convinced I've failed.  With my confidence already being on the low side I don't need this to make me feel worse.  This is not good.

I can get away with writing 10% less than the 3,000 word requirement so I think I'll take up the option. I'm sitting around 2,000 words at the moment so I really don't have much to do.

I'm determined to get it done tonight.  Then I can edit it tomorrow, write my Personal Development Plan and submit it electronically on Thursday before handing it in on Friday.  In my mind's eye I can see a lovely, big, chilled glass of Pinot just waiting to be downed.  This will be followed by another and another etc - and life will be great.

In reality I'll probably have a sip or two and fall asleep.  That is exactly what happened after I sat my final uni exam

Right.  Enough of this faffing around.

I'll need to be getting on with it if I want to finished tonight.

The Start of the End.

The final push has started.

I've read, taken notes and have probably thought far too much about the Critical Self Reflective essay over the last couple of days.  Now, it's time to start writing it.  I need to exorcise the demon and get it onto paper - but I always find the first sentence is always the hardest.

It shouldn't be too difficult - all I have to do is write 3,000 words about what I did wrong and what I did to put it right.  I've made enough mistakes over the last couple of months I can probably fill a book, and I could sit for hours talking about it.  But it's the old problem.  As soon as I need to write an essay I clam up.  I go into Glasgow Uni essay writing default mode and end up sounding like some half arsed, pseudo academic knob.  I need to relax and write it as me - just a knob.

Okay.  Here goes.  See you on the other side.