Update

I've reached twelve and a half thousand words approximately. 

It's not quite the twenty thousand I wanted to have written at this point but it's not too bad.  Oh there I go with the positve thinking.

I've been working all day on stuff for my next supervision session.  I've re-jigged the text so much it's completely different from the stuff I handed in for my last session.  The chapter on what I'm intending to do to get recognition for Lipton has now been split into about five smaller chapters.  Instead of it being in one clump it's now being spread about.

What I really need advice on is the chapters.  So I'm sending Sam my new beginning plus a possible chapter breakdown and one of my wee narrative position mappy things.  I've found this is a good way to find out what goes where - and it's a great excuse to play with felt tip pens. 

There are a lot of wee gaps I still need to fill in so you never know.  Maybe I will hit that twenty thousand mark after all.

Maybe not.

Positive thinking - I will, I will, I will, I will.

(shhhh, keep this to yourself - i won't)

Positive

I'm just listening to Radio 4's Saturday Live Show.  Uri Geller's just been on banging on about the power of positive thinking.  I'm very aware the tone of the blog is becoming quite negative so I've decided to take Uri's advice.  I can do this. I can do this.  I can do this etc. etc. etc.

So, if it all goes tits up it'll be his fault.

Ploughing

One word at a time and I'll get there.  I keep telling myself that.  I just hope it's before 10th August.  But right now it doesn't feel like I will.  One day I feel like I'm getting there and the next I feel like I've written a pile of shit.

Yesterday I read what I'd written and decided I needed to shift the chapters around.  Now it looks unrecognisable.  And I don't know if I've done the right thing.  In the first version I didn't feel I was getting to the reason for writing the book quickly enough.  Now I'm getting there in the first chapter.  Is that what I want?  Who knows? 

I interviewed someone for the Glasgow West End Magazine today.  I didn't write an article for the June/July issue because of the last assessments.  I felt writing two assassements to be handed in on the same date was pressure enough without adding an interview/research and 500-1,000 words to it but I didn't want to miss another edition,  So I interviewed Paul Corrigan.  He's a fantastic young Scottish actor who plays a character called Stevie Burns in River City.  And what a lovely guy he is.  He gave me a great interview.  I'm looking forward to writing it up.  It'll be so refreshing not to be typing the words Sir and Thomas and Lipton.

I've now reached almost 11,000 words in the STL project but I've had enough for tonight.  I'll start ploughing on again tomorrow. 

One word at a time and I will get there.

Better

I'm feeling a wee bit better about things.  I mean, I'm still confused but not quite so much. 

The order of the chapters are still giving cause for concern.  My problem is I don't want to explain too much too soon but the way things are at the moment my reason for writing the book is coming too late - I think.

I need to find a way of moving from one to the other without being too obvious or too random.  Am I talking any sense what so ever? 

I'm now at around 9,100 words - about half way.  Not bad at all but with only a matter of days before I go on holiday I can say with certainty the first draft won't be done by then.  This is disappointing.  But, I didn't realise there was about 3 weeks to get it finished when I get back - and I suppose there's always the holiday time itself.  I'll be taking all my books etc with me so I don't suppose it'll be too bad sitting in a beach cafe with my laptop.  If Dahne Du Maurier can do it then so can I.  I don't mean Du Maurier sat in a cafe with a laptop.  No.  She wrote her best work in Cornwall and lived in St Ives for a while after the 2nd World War.  I've heard it say that the seagulls in St Ives were the inspiration for her novella The Birds.  That doesn't surprise me at all - the seagulls are crazy down there.  They are definitely the neds of the bird world.

I've been working on the book all day.  It's now time to take a break. 

Did I say break?  I'm going to have a glass of wine while I do an ironing and watch England play Ukraine, but I just know Mr. Lipton won't be far from my thoughts. 

He never is.

Confused

Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused. 
          Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused. 
                    Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused. 
                              Confused.  Confused.  Confused.Confused.  Confused. 
                                       Confused.  Confused.  Confused.  Confused.
                                                Confused.  Confused.  Confused. 
                                                     Confused.  Confused.
                                                             Confused. 
                                                                  Conf
                                                                    us
                                                                     e
                                                                     d.
                                                                                    
                                                                                             

Nice Pattern.

Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

Rethink

I had my first supervision session yesterday - after a shaky start. 

I was already feeling rubbish with this cold I've got and getting up at half six really didn't help.  I felt a bit better once I'd set out only to run into a traffic jam on the M8.  There had been an accident and it took me 45 minutes to get to Harthill - normally it takes about 15.  I called Sam to let her know and she suggested we could re-schedule out meeting.  NO!!!  After the effort it had taken I was going to get there if it killed me.  I got there about ten past nine - not too bad.

I've already said I wasn't looking forward to the meeting but it was ok.  In fact I actually quite enjoyed it - until I came home, read my notes and scrutinised what Sam had written on my script.  It wasn't bad - it was constructive.  But the idea of completely rethinking my approach and discarding a good chunk of content is now firmly lodged in my head. 

The first thing I really need to do is sort out the chapters and think of the book as a three act structure.  This should help put all the information I've gathered into clear categories and let it find its natural place in the overall piece.

So once again I find myself staring at a blank computer screen.  I alway find one of the hardest part about writing is getting the first line.  David Bishop once told me if I was having difficulty starting I should consider start in the middle or at the end.  It's good advice but it's fair to say I'm a bit concerned.

Here goes.

Cold

My cold has cranked up a notch.  It's now at the uncontrolable dripping stage. 

Too much information?

I'm quite glad I've got it now though, rather than in  few weeks when I'm on holiday - that would just be rubbish.  But the down side of having it now is I need to drive through to Edinburgh tomorrow for my first supervision session - and it's a 9am.  God - I hope I feel better by then.  I'm worried enough about this meeting without having to stop every two minutes to sneeze and mop up.

I spent yesterday trying to work out my chapter breakdown.  I thought it would help but I'm confused.  It was good to do though.  It's better to get these things worked out.  On reflection I might be lumping too much into each chapter.  I'll find out once I start writing them I suppose.  I think I know what I want to write - I just need to work out the order.

I know thinking about and working out the structure is really important but I think I really need to start getting stuff onto the screen.  I keep saying it.  Now it's time to do it - and then do the jigsaw.

Ok. 

Oh no - hold on.  Where're my hankies?

Getting Serious

It's now time to get on with some serious work.

I had a few days off over the weekend - and very nice it was too.  I had a very cultural few days. 

On Friday night we went to the Friends and Family night at the Glasgow School of Art Degree Show.  Ross' girlfriend is exhibiting her work.  It was a really, really good good show.  There were lots of very interesting, challenging and well presented stuff.  And a huge well done to Megan - she deserved her fantastic "First with Distinction" grade.  On Saturday we went to a Pay, Pie and a Pint to see the last play of the season.  It was Peter McDougall's The Brothers' Keeper.  It was good but a bit metaphorical with a lot of similies and alliterations.  In the afternoon went to see the Fine Art Degree Show at the Art School.  It was OK.  I have a pre-concieved idea of what I think fine art should be - and it isn't that.  There was some cracking stuff and some - well - other stuff.  In the evening we went to The Nimmo Brothers gig in Oran Mor.  What can I say?  They were just brilliant.  It was a great gig and a lovely, loud rockin' way to end a great day.  On Sunday I was knackered proving the point that old rockers never die - they just tire very easily.

But all good things must come to an end and the hard work needs to resume.

I'm not sure you can ever really have a day off from writing.  I might not be physically writing but I'm thinking about what I've written and what I'm about to write all the time.  I'm not joking.  I'm even dreaming about it now.  The other night I dreamed Sam gave me 23% for my Major Project.  When she saw I was really upset about the mark she tried to comfort me by saying, "Oh don't worry - I gave you six Well Done stickers."  What the ????. 

So if I want to avoid getting 23% I need to stop faffing around.  It's time to get words onto a page.

But before I can do that I need to work out some technical things.  Stuff like structure and tone and a chapter breakdown.  I've written 7,500 words so I think I've decided on the tone.  (I'm really hoping it's the right one.)  Yesterday I discected a creative non-fiction book to try and establish which narrative position the author took and when.  I did a page by page breakdown using coloured felt tip pens and everything.  It took a while but it was a really interesting exercise.  It showed me I can be chatty and informal and formal and historical on the same page.  And today I think I'm going to concentrate on the chapters.  Once I've done this I think I can start freeing all the stuff which is rattling around my head.

A few days ago I said I was aiming to have written 10,000 words for today.  I have failed.  Maybe I'll hit that mark for next Tuesday.  I'm very aware I'm running out of time.  I wanted to have 20,000 done before I go on holiday at the end of June.  You never know - maybe once I get the techy stuff done the word count will go up quickly.  I do hope so.

OK - time to get on with it.  If I don't I might not even get six Well Done stickers.

Break

I'm feeling a bit better today. 

Yesterday I was worried about sending my Supervision stuff to Sam.  But it's done now - there's no going back. 

I don't know if I'm going to get much done over the weekend - there is just too much going on.  In situations like this I think its better not to worry about it.  So, I'm going to put what I'm writing aside, catch up in doing other things and come back fresh in a day or so.  Hopefully by Sunday I'll be ready to get back in the saddle and get in about it.

Ok.  Right.  Other things? Where do I start?

Oh look - a huge pile of ironing.

Letting Go

I've not had a good day so far and it's only 9am.  This is not a good omen.

I have already written a blog post this morning.  It took me about 20 minutes but somehow I managed to delete it.  There was a pop up which said something about updating my computer and asked if I wanted to do it now or later.  I clicked the wrong button and everything went black. Now I need to try and remember what I wrote.  Here goes.

Today is the day I've been working towards for weeks.  It's the day I need to send stuff to my tutor ahead of my first Major Project Supervision Session next Thursday.  Usually I find releasing anything I've written into the big, wide world quite daunting, however this is terrifying.  It's not easy but I need to let it go.

Before I went to Napier I was so used to writing academic stuff for my Glasgow Uni degree.  All of a sudden I had to start writing in a more natural, creative way.  This is what I found difficult.  Everything I wrote was too formal.  I suppose the name of the course, an MA in Creative Writing, should have given me a heads up of what was required.

I knew I needed to relax but everytime I sat at a keyboard I stiffened up.

I've tried a different approach for my Major Project.  I've taken a bit of a chance.  I'm trying to get stuff out of my head and onto the screen.  Then I'm re-writing it as if I'm telling it to a friend.  I'm letting my imagination and the research I've done lead the way; I'm trying to write factual stuff with a creative twist.  I'm not sure if it's worked - I suppose I'll find out next Thursday.

I'm now up to 7,000 words but I can only send Sam 2,500.  My goal is to get up to 10,000 by Tuesday.  Then if I want to have it written before I go on holiday I need to write another 10,000 in just over a fortnight. 

I can do it.  I can do it.  I CAN do it.

I think.

Slowing down

I'm quite worried.

I'm starting to slow down and it's all because I can't help self-editing as I write.

Every time I start writing I re-read it and decide it's rubbish so I re-write it.  I feel I'm in a bit of a vicious cycle.

This means I haven't moved on very far from my last blog entry - which is not a good thing.

My word count is just short of 6,000.  So, here's my SMART goal.  I will have written 6,500 words but the end of the day.  I know what I want to write about so I just need to do it. 

There.  I've said it.  It's out there and I can't take it back.

I need to send Sam my first instalment for my supervision session in a few days so I really need to get on with it.

Onwards!

(But, I'm still a bit worried.)