Two weeks to go.

I am so confused about this Major project.  My feelings and emotions are all over the place.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic but it's true.  One minute I feel that I can't carry on - that it's all absolute shit and the next I get an idea and things are looking up  Then I try the idea and it's all shit again.

At the moment things are looking up - a bit.  I've been struggling about how to write something historical without making it too dry but I don't know if I have the confidence to do it.  What I do know is that if I write it the way I have been doing Sam and David will probably rip it to shreds.  So, I probably should take the chance and go for it.

I just wish I could get something either Sam or David said out of my head when classes finished.  They were giving us a pep talk to get us in the mood for starting.  There was 77 days to go.  I remember that because it was written in big letters on the board.  77 days.  No problem - that was plenty of time, wasn't it? NO is the answer to that one.  No is is not.

Anyway, what one of them said was just because we had paid a lot of money to be on the course didn't mean we automatically got an MA.  If the work isn't good enough we will fail.

I never thought for a moment I was buying an MA.  I have worked so hard for this.  I don't think I've ever tackled anything so difficult - even my first degree.  But to hear someone say that?  It was  a huge slap around the head which still stings.

There's only 2 weeks to go to hand in day.  I've now written about 19,555 words but I still need to inject some style into it - something to make it bounce and not lie on the floor like a burst balloon.  And that's the hard part.

Ok - I've had my moan for the day.  Well, for the hour at least.